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Hump, anyone?

August 5, 2009 in Doggy Style

So what if he's a boy too?

Humans are weirdo about humping. I mean I could understand them getting tadly upset if I was a big slobbering bulldog* with a massive [male part], but I’m like the leastly offensive… for chrisakes, I’m only 4 months old and my breath is still sweet!

My friend Alfie started on this cute guy tonight, and he seemed to really like it, so I took over. We had a blast, and his mom wasn’t bothered at all. It’s nice when people are chill, you know what I mean? Life’s too short and there are enough things to worry about already. Well, that’s what my dad tells me, anywhich. And plus, it’s great exercise for the front legs. I think I’ll be able to lift a beer keg when I’m older if I carry on like this.

When it comes to humping, I like them curly-furry. It doesn’t really matter to me if they’re a boy or a girl (that could change later). O! M! G! I just realized… here’s the first thing that I ever humped. That explains a lot. Who needs a shrinkywinkle when you’re as smart as a Jack?

My first love

*not mentioning any names… you know who you are!

4 responses to Hump, anyone?

  1. Just got back from the the run… talk about humping! Woaf! There was this Bulldog. I think he was French, or something, because I couldn’t understand a bark he snuffled. Not that it really mattered, since he was interested only in having his way with this Wheaton, and wasn’t really “saying” anything, if you get my meany. He would mount and hump like a maniarc, until he’d get the big shove-off, and just keep humping the nothingness. Gross!

    This went on for about 20 time-units, and the poor Wheaty wasn’t having much of a funrun. Dad told me that the owner shouldn’t be allowed to have a dog, since she only once said “No, Dicky.” (not his real name) from about 2000 fleafeet away. Dicky paid no attention, but she didn’t pay any attention to him not paying attention. I guess they have that in commonness?

  2. I am gonna tell Izzie that Flea is cheating on him. He is not interested in me, becasue I would not put up with that and I don’t think boys are icky anyway,

    watch out,
    Nora

  3. I mean I do think dog’s boy dogs are icky. I am a dog, why should I be able to spell rite anyways?

    girls rule,
    Nora Blue!

  4. to MY friendz NorA an fleA,
    ther iz wAy to mUch hUMPN inn thE paRK aN i do thinc it needS too stop.
    it allwaz sems to b hapeNINg to mee an i am FED up.
    bot of you ned too BEHavE
    an StoP doiNg it to Izy an ME

    lovE from yur frend,
    jAvaliLLy

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