Avatar of Flea


Brown and Sticky

August 18, 2009 in Observations

It's a stick!

What’s brown and sticky? Not what you think! I’d describe the thing that you’re thinking about as brown and icky. The answer? A stick, of course. Crusty nighties! I love a stick. Dad keeps taking them out of my mouth and behiding them around his back. “No Flea! Stop chewing sticks!” I’m all in favor of no sticks, if I have something else yummish to chew on, but sticks are just so omniwhere. Can you imagine if there were gin and tonics lying around omniwhere? Geepees! I’d be like, “No Dad! Stop drinking gin and tonics!”

Seriousness, though, sticks are sexly. Javalilly will frequentimes find a yummish stick and then walk it right by my face like I’m blinding. What a bitch! (and that’s not an insult, humanpeople). Of course I want that stick. But, woaf! She can keep that stick just a skinny bit from my mouth and scamp out of the way when I try to grabble it. After a timeunit of this, I pretend to get borded and give up. I walk off and get humpy with one of the other boys. What does she do then? Drops the fricky stick, of course. I used to think it was a good planet of action, this giving up, but then when she drops the stick, I don’t want it anymuch. I don’t need a shrinkywinkle (cycleollygyst) to figure this out either… if it’s not dangling from Java’s Alabama south-tasty mouth, it’s just a fricky stick. I’ve got some hindlick manouevers in mind for her one day. Oops. Dad’s typing this for me and he just told me “Hey!” That’s not good, if I rememorize right. He’s smiley, though. Conflustering…

O&PS. Dad’s gonna take photopictures of my friends, so you can see about whom I’m talking about, if you’ll excuse the dangling participle… sometimes I get a participle dangling from my butty after eating sticks. I’m told it’s fecally incorrect to mention such stuff, but to quote my dad’s favorite Corinne Bailey Rae* song, “Till it happens to you…”  Youch!

*Dad says she’s a bitch too, but I’m not sure whether he’s speaking dog or not. He gets eye-gooey if I press him about it.

1 response to Brown and Sticky

  1. what is this all about Javalilly stuff–I am the first one who wrote you and this is what I get>? anyway I play the stick game really godd, so manby you did not notice cause IM sublet.

    anysts mommie siad I should be nicer to flea, and aunt holly think im jelis of you so this is what, I wont say nything mean any more ok flea you know by they way—I hump more than you

    thank y9ou

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.